Reconciliation
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: In which Elfman and Evergreen get into a fight and somehow manage to ruin his sisters nights as well. - One-shot.


Reconciliation

"Oh! I didn't know you were in here."

"It's okay," Evergreen sighed, sinking lower into the tub. "I mean, I'm only trying to relax and you just completely ruined that."

"Are you being sarcastic or-"

"What did you want, Elfman?"

He only stood there, in her bathroom which had previously been dark. He'd hit the light upon entering only to find her soaking in the tub, candles lit all around.

"Well," he said slowly. "I did kinda wanna shower, but that's out now."

"If you were a normal sized man, I would say you could take a bath with me," she said. "But considering I don't have an Olympic sized pool in here-"

"Your shower head is even too low for me," he told her with a sigh. "It only comes up to my chest."

She rolled her eyes before shutting them again. "We'll have to take that into consideration, next time."

"Next time?"

"When I move," she sighed. "We'll need a bigger tub. I think-"

"You'd take me into confederation when you move?"

That got her to peek an eye open. "Consideration, stupid."

"Hey! I'm not stupid. I-"

"Turn back off the light."

"Sorry," he sighed, turning to walk out then, doing as she said. "I-"

"Where are you going?"

"What do you mean? You said that you were relaxing."

"I was," she told him. "But that's ruined now. You don't…have to go. Why were you showering anyways?"

"I didn't think you wanted me to stay the night tonight," he told her. "You seemed a little annoyed with me at dinner. Then you didn't really want to let me come back home with you. Unless…did you want me to say until we had sex? Or-"

"Stop talking. Now. And come back here."

He only turned back off the light like she asked and shut the door before turning to walk back over to the tub. Then he just stood there, staring down at her.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked.

"Just…I thought that we could keep talking."

"Oh." He looked around before going to drop the toilet seat cover and take a seat. Upon seeing that, she shook her head.

"Great. Now I know what you look like on the toilet."

He only grinned though. "So you were talking about when we move in together-"

"No," she grumbled. "I wasn't."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said, idiot."

"You really are rude to me today," he complained. Then, sniffling, he said, "And what's up with all the candles?"

"I can't like the smell of candles?"

"You can," he said. "But I don't."

"Well, considering I didn't light them for you, I guess we're safe."

"You know, Ever, some would think that you're a little overly sarcastic towards me," he said. "Considering I'm your boyfriend."

"You're not my boyfriend."

"I am your boyfriend."

"Are not."

"Mmmm….nope, pretty sure I am."

"You're not."

"Then why are you planning on buying a new place, just so I can take a bath?"

Huffing then, she said, "You are five seconds away from being a statue, Elfman."

"You wouldn't turn your own boyfriend to stone."

"Stop saying that!"

"No." He only stared over at her in the dim lighting of all those smelly candles. "I've decided that you're my girlfriend and that I'm tired of not being able to say it."

"I'm not your girlfriend."

"Then what are you? My frequent date?"

"Ew, gross. No, I don't date you."

"Then what are we doing, Evergreen?"

"Elfman-"

"No." He was frowning then and she only kept her eyes shut, not wanting to see his face. "Everyone knows. Who are you lying to?"

"Why do we have to be anything?" she asked. "Why-"

"Why can't we be?" he asked. "I know that I'm not the best person in the world, but I'm a man. A real man! Who doesn't want to admit that they're with-"

"It's not you, stupid."

"Then what?"

"It just…" She sat up then, the sound of the water swishing around the only thing he heard for a moment. Then she said, "I don't…get into serious relationships."

"But we're already serious," he told her. "I mean, I don't see anyone else and neither do- Have you been seeing other people?"

"No," she said with an eye roll.

"Like you haven't been seeing me?"

"Elfman, I'm not cheating on you."

"Well, according to you, I'm not even your boyfriend, so how can you?"

"Enough."

"No. I haven't even been on a date since we-"

"Like you were just dating up a storm beforehand."

"Hey!"

She only let out a short breath before saying, "Look, I'm not… You're the only guy that I've been with in months. Okay? So stop worrying."

"I'm not worrying," he grumbled. "I'm mad at you. If you're sleeping around-"

"I'm not!"

"Then so can I."

She blinked. Then, slowly, she moved to relax once more in the water. "Go ahead."

"W-What?"

"Go," she repeated, "ahead."

"You-"

"You have the night. And you know what? The morning too. Until noon tomorrow, you can sleep with whoever you want," she said. Then she laughed. "You'd have to pay a woman to even so much as jerk you off."

"Hey!" He jumped up then, some of her hair products littering the sink tumbling off at the vibrations.

"Elfman, I have downstairs neighbors. You-"

"I'm going to go," he said, his tone alone tipping her off that he was taking things far more serious than she was. Then again, that was the root of most their problems.. "And I'm going to sleep with tons of women! And since you gave me the permission, you can't be mad at me."

"Then go!" she yelled then, annoyed that he was blowing up over nothing. "Go and sleep around. Or at least try. Because I know that there isn't a damn person that will be going anywhere near you."

"You do!"

"I drink too much! That's the only reason!"

"Oh yeah?" He was heading out of the bathroom then. "Sure it's not all your stupid daddy issues?"

"Elfman-"

"Oh, Elf," he whined then as he slammed the door behind him, his voice muffled then. But she was jumping out of the tub then to chase after him anyways. "No one ever loved me. He used to hit me. I just-"

"Shut the hell up." She grabbed a towel on the way before trailing him. "At least I didn't kill my family."

"Hey!" He turned on her then, as they stood in the living room, face contorted with rage. "I didn't kill Lisanna!"

"No, but you practically did. If it wasn't for-"

"I didn't kill her," he growled then, teeth clenched tight. "And if you say that again-"

"You'll what? Kill me too?"

His fists, which he hadn't know had balled up, fell flat at her words. Then he only headed over to the front door, jerking it open.

"I hate you, Evergreen. Fuck you. I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore."

"Good! 'cause you never were anyways!"

She probably would have chased him further, but he was slamming the door and she was still just in a towel.

"I don't need him anyway," she reminded herself as she turned and head back to the bathroom. Sniffling without meaning to, she added, "And I never did."

* * *

"It's okay, Elf."

"No," he sobbed into his hands. "It's not. I told her that I hated her!"

"But you don't," Mirajane said as she sat on the couch next to her brother, rubbing his shoulders. "And she knows that."

Laxus, who was in the kitchen, peeked his head in before groaning. "Mirajane, you said that tonight was going to be about us. Not…this."

"He's in pain, Laxus."

"Our food is getting cold."

"And I said that you could eat," she said, glaring over at him. "So just eat."

"I don't wanna eat."

"Then why do you care if-"

"Because then you're going to want to heat it up when you get back in here and then it's going to take even longer for you to finish eating and then you'll be tired and I won't get sex."

Even Elfman lifted his head at that one, frowning slightly.

"Laxus!" Mirajane didn't even give a command. He knew his night was shot then and only went back into the kitchen.

"I never get to do anything around here!" he yelled, the backdoor slamming not a minute later.

Then Elfman began sobbing once more, upset that he'd ruined Mirajane's night, causing her to have to comfort him even more.

"Now I've ruined your relationship too," he wailed.

"No," she sighed. "Laxus is just…being himself. You didn't do anything. Promise."

At that moment, in fact, Laxus was seated out on the back porch, smoking a cigar, trying to calm down. It was harder than it should have been though as he was in a pretty sour mood.

"Laxus," he heard eventually, glancing back behind him to find Mira in the doorway of the backdoor, staring out at him. "You ready to eat again? Or do you need some more time to cool-"

"No,' he said as he jumped to his feet, ready to rush right back in there, finish eating, and get down to the part of the night he really wanted. All the food and stuff were just things to keep Mirajane happy and in the mood. He never rightly got out of the mood. As he got to the backdoor, he took another puff on his cigar before saying, "I'm more than ready."

…Until he got back inside and saw Elfman freaking Strauss in there, seated at the table, still looking rather weepy.

"Mirajane-"

"He's just going to eat with us," she said. "We have extra food, anyhow."

"It wasn't going to be extra," he grumbled. "I was going to eat-"

"No smoking in the house, Laxus," she reminded as he only growled some more. He had to go back outside then. Not to finish smoking. Oh, no. It was what Mira feared before.

He needed to cool off again.

But it wasn't easy. Because though he and Mirajane did fight a lot, most of their arguments were trivial and just an attempt from both of them to just get to that wonderful makeup point where nothing mattered and everything was great.

Only there was one point of contention that constantly reared its head.

Her siblings.

Since pawning Lisanna off on Bickslow (at first giving the man the instruction to just keep her out of their hair, though later they ended up together for real), Laxus found that the youngest Strauss sibling wasn't as big of a problem as before.

But that left Elfman.

Ugh.

Laxus would admit that he didn't have strong family ties. He had his father, who he had loved unconditionally, only to be torn apart for this time and time again. Then he had Makarov, who he did the same thing to in return, as if a cycle. So that feeling of a deeper connection was lost on him.

He did know though that Mirajane loved Elfman and Lisanna. More than anything. And he was okay with that. More than okay with it. After dating off and on for a year, he'd learned that he came third in her life (on the rare occasions he mattered at all). But since becoming more serious and after a year of actually living with one another (another in between of meaningful dating), he was starting to expect more of her. She was his number one. Always. And being third to two grown people that didn't need her anymore was just unacceptable.

And he was so fired up, so angry that he had planned the dinner, made it, and even gotten her the night off (he had to promise Kinana some heavy tips next time he was around), but it was going to be ruined why? Because Elffboy and stupid Ever couldn't get their shit together?

That wasn't fair.

And because Laxus had such problems with self control (when it came to Mira, he actually had none) he went back in there and yelled all of that at her. Then, since he and Elfman didn't have such a great relationship to begin with, the takeover mage came to his sister's defense quite quickly, his tears for Ever turning into rage for the Thunder God.

Mira kicked Laxus out.

Again.

For the fourth time that week.

Did he mention that he hated Elfman?

"Mira," Elfman said once it was only them in the house. "I didn't mean to do that, but he was really out of line! Yelling at you and-"

"He'll come back," Mirajane sighed, going to take a seat at the kitchen table once more. "He's just… I mean, you do come to me for a lot of things, Elfman."

"Yeah, but-"

"And Laxus and I are… We've been talking. A lot. And I think that… I think he's planning to propose to me soon."

Elfman blinked. Then, as he had only been standing there, yelling moments before, he slowly came to join her, taking his own seat.

"He can't," he said finally, as if indignant.

"What do you mean?"

"He has to ask my permission," Elfman said. "And I won't give it!"

Mira only sat there for a moment before grinning at him. "Elf, you can't-"

"I am serious. I don't want you to marry him or to…to…have his babies! Yuck. I-"

"No one said anything about babies," Mirajane said. "Right now. We've talked about it and-"

"Mira, I don't like him."

"And I like Evergreen?"

He frowned. "Well, of course. You always try to keep us from fighting and-"

"Because I know that you love her, Elfman. And that deep down, she loves you," Mira said. "And do I like her as a guild mate? Sure. But as my brother's girlfriend? Not really."

"W-What? I-"

"She makes you cry," she explained. "A lot. And she's kinda rude to Lisanna. Or at least she intimidates her a lot."

"She does not."

"Yes, she does," Mirajane said. "And she tries to me, but I'm not as easy to get to as Lisanna. And besides, she's always afraid I'll manage to turn Laxus against her or something."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mirajane. Ever has never-"

"She's made Lisanna think that she somehow controls Bickslow. Just like she thinks that I control Laxus. So Lisanna tries to be accommodating to her, but honestly, Elf? Neither of us like her much."

More blinking. Then a lot more tears.

"Oh, Elf-"

"I just want you all to like each other!"

"I-"

"If you and Lisanna hate her, then…then maybe I shouldn't be with…" He buried his head in his hands, hiding his eyes from his sister. "I love you guys too much to-"

"Elfman," Mira groaned. "Lisanna and I don't hate Ever. We think that she's…well… The point is that you like her. So we like her for you. I mean, do you think that I like Bickslow?"

"You never seem to not."

"Well, I don't dislike him, but he's not exactly who I envisioned for Lisanna, no. But I put up with him. And all of their silly antics. Because… Lisanna loves him. I think. Or at least likes him a lot. And it helped her get over the whole Natsu fiasco, so I…I put up with it.

"And the same goes for you and Evergreen. You guys fight a lot, fine. And by a lot, I mean, more than mortal enemies. But at the end of the day, I know that you think the world of her. And she knows that you're the most loyal man that's ever been in her life. So, in some weird, off way, you guys are a match. So I support you. Because you're my baby brother. And I love you."

He sniffled before glancing up at her. "I love you too."

"Then you understand why you have to learn to get along with Laxus."

"Mira-"

"No, Elf. I've put up with this long enough. I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with him. And you know that I'll never cut you out of my life, but Laxus isn't going anywhere either. You know that. And if Lisanna and I can suck it up about Ever, I think you owe me the same respect."

He didn't know what to say. So he only sat there, staring at the table until Mirajane sighed and got to her feet.

"It'll be okay," she told him as she came to pat him on the shoulder before grabbing her plate of food to go heat it up in the microwave. Laxus was right; it had gotten cold. "You and Evergreen always find your way back to one another. Probably even tonight, I bet."

He sure hoped so. He truly did.

* * *

"I thought for sure he'd come here."

"Nope," Bickslow said as he let Evergreen into his apartment. "But me and Lissy were just playing a rousing game of-"

"Ew, Bickslow. I don't-"

"A rousing. Not arousing." He shut the door behind her as Lisanna only blushed, over at her spot on the couch. "We're just playing cards."

"Ever!" His dolls came to greet the woman as she only looked to her (not) boyfriend's younger sister. "Ever!"

"Have you seen your brother tonight?"

"Nope," she said as Bickslow came to join her once more, taking a seat on the ground, on the other side of the coffee table. "I've been here all day."

"Great," Ever complained, taking it upon herself to come sit on the couch as well. Lisanna, though she had no ill will against the woman, still found herself shifting away from her. "Well, he's probably out screwing half the town so-"

"Ew," Bickslow complained as Lisanna only made a face, moving to set her cards down on the table. "What do you- No, I don't wanna know. Wait! I do. No. Wait. I don't. Well…maybe just start to tell us and then-"

"I don't want to know," Lisanna frowned, giving him a look. "And neither do you."

"But-"

"I was taking a bath," Ever began, never rightly caring much for Bickslow or Lisanna's preferences. At all. She had come over for answers and, in lieu of that, she was going to at least get some things off her chest.

Not get any advice from them though. They were complete idiots, after all.

"Ew, gross!" See? "I don't wanna know about you bathing, Ever."

"Grow up, Bickslow," she told him with a frown. Lisanna hid a snicker in her hand.

"I don't even want to think about you naked," he said. "This is, like, far too much already for my sensibilities. And my poor babies!"

"Papa," they cried. Lisanna was having a harder time hiding her laughter then and Ever sent her a look for it. Sobering quickly, Lisanna got to her feet.

"I need a drink," she said simply, heading off to the kitchen.

"Bring me a beer," Bickslow called out to her. "If I'm going to be subjected to this kinda torture."

"So anyways," Ever began again loudly. "I was taking a bath and he came in. I-"

"Do I really have to hear this?" Lisanna called. "I mean-"

"-was trying to relax, but he was being annoying and whiny and…somehow we started discussing our relationship. Which we don't have, of course."

"Of course," Bickslow's dolls agreed. For his part, he only sat there, staring at her with a blank face.

"So…if it's not a relationship," he said slowly. "I'm guessing that it's just pure sex or something?"

"Okay, so you can't stand the thought of thinking of her taking a bath, but sex is okay?" Lisanna was back then, her fair skin tinted red as she came to hand her own boyfriend his can of beer. As his sallet was off and sitting on the dresser in the bedroom, he was able to wink at her. With a roll of her eyes, Lisanna only fell down onto the ground with him, not wanting to sit up there with Evergreen.

"What?" Ever gave her a look. "You didn't think to bring me a drink?"

"You didn't ask for one. I mean, I made it very clear that I was-"

"I thought it was implied, Lisanna."

"W-Well, do you want me to get you one now or-"

"No," Ever sighed as she took to leaning back on the couch. "I just want to get this over with."

"She's actin' like we're makin' her tell the story or somethin'," Bickslow complained to his girlfriend in a whisper. Err, it was supposed to be a whisper.

"I can hear you," Ever told him with a frown. "And anyhow, the point is, your stupid brother flipped out on me, Lisanna. Something about how he should be able to do whatever he wanted because he thought that I was. And I…might have told him that I gave him until noon tomorrow to sleep with anyone that would actually have him."

Bickslow blinked. Then he frowned. "Why'd you come lookin' here for him? You think that he was gonna what? Sleep with me?"

"Bickslow," Lisanna hissed, making a face at him.

"What? I got an affect you, don't I, Lissy? Well, I figure maybe it's a Strauss thing." He flexed then. "You better what out, Ever. I'mma take your boyfriend!"

"He's not my boyfriend!" she hissed, not meaning to take that tone. Talking about Elfman just brought that kinda stuff out in her. Taking a deep breath, she said then, "And besides, I thought that maybe… He left crying and he usually goes to Mira, I know, but-"

"Then why-"

"I might have mentioned something silly," Ever said slowly then, looking off.

"Silly?" Lisanna repeated. "What-"

"Silly," the babies cried as they all tumbled around in the air, chasing one another. They knew that word and knew it well. "Silly!"

"Something, I dunno, about you and him and Edolas…err, less about Edolas and more about murder-"

"You didn't," Lisanna said, her curiosity turning dark. And though she feared Ever (who didn't, she could turn her enemies to stone), messing with her family was _not_ something that she allowed. Ever.

"You monster," Bickslow said, feeding off his girlfriend. "We should bar you from the apartment Forever!"

"Forever," the babies agreed.

"Bickslow." Evergreen gave him a look before glancing at Lisannna. "It was the heat of the moment. And he said some horrible things to me too."

"I don't care. You're always so mean to him. So what? He doesn't do every little thing you want and you-"

"Uh, Lissy? Would you mind wearing my helmet for awhile?" Bickslow jumped up and rushed to go get it. "Or some dark sunglasses?"

"I'm not going to turn your stupid girlfriend to stone, Bickslow," Ever told him with a roll of her eyes. He still went to go get his helmet though and drop it on Lisanna's head quickly.

He was taking no chances. Because he just knew, if Lisanna got turned to stone, one of the babies would freak out, fly into her, and knock the statue over. Then she'd break and he'd be heartbroken. Not to mention Satan Soul would kill him, which would suck. He was single father of five, after all. Granted, they were all long dead and only lost souls left over from past lives, but still.

"I'm not stupid," Lisanna said, his helmet falling too far down on her head (he had a big head, sue him), but she glared at Evergreen regardless. "And I'm not afraid of you."

Ever rolled her eyes again. "Anyways, I need to find Elfman."

"Why? So you can make him cry some more?"

"Now, now, Lissy." Bickslow sat back down. "In Ever's defense, your brother cries at everything. I mean, he cried that time that Ever broke a nail."

"He had just paid for her manicure," Lisanna argued. "I mean-"

"Okay, so you guys are no help." Ever got to her feet. "I'll just go talk to Mirajane then."

"I wouldn't if I were you," Bickslow said as he moved to pick back up his cards. Then, remembering that Lisanna was sitting next to him, he frowned when he found her peeking at them. Moving to just take all the cards and shuffle them again, so they could start their game over from the beginning, he said over the protests of Lisanna, "Laxus is making her a big dinner, yeah? And it's what now? Ten? They're either fucking or sleeping."

"Ew! Why do you guys think that it's okay to talk about this stuff in front of me?" Lisanna crossed her arms. "I don't like to think about either Elfman or Mirajane… Especially not with Laxus. Or you, Ever."

"I agree. Ever's disgusting," Bickslow said, tongue falling out of his mouth as he chuckled at himself. Ever only rolled her eyes.

"Well, if he's not with Mirajane then where is he? I went by you and his place, Lisanna, but no one was home."

"How should I know?" Lisanna wasn't ready to forgive Evergreen just yet.

"Maybe he's out bedding half the town," Bickslow suggest. "You did give him a free pass. That means a lot."

"I didn't really give him a-"

"It means a lot?" Lisanna pushed up his visor then to stare at him. "So if I gave you one-"

"I'd jerk off to photos of you, Lissy," he said, nodding his head as she made a face. "'cause I love you."

"You're so weird," she told him though she couldn't help giggling a little. As Bickslow moved to kiss her though, Ever spoke.

"Maybe I should have left my relationship up to Laxus too," she remarked. "He seems to be a better matchmaker than your sister. Then again, your sister probably wouldn't pair me with your doofus brother either, but-"

"What are you talking about?" Lisanna looked to Ever then, letting the visor drop again as Bickslow frowned at his missed kiss. When he glanced at Ever, he gave her the stink eye.

"Uh, Ever? Aren't you, like, leaving now? Or-"

"You know," Evergreen said. "How Laxus paid Bickslow to take you out for, like, the first four months of your- Oops. Did you not know that, Lisanna? Poor you. Maybe next time, you idiots won't cross me."

"Cross you?" Bickslow jumped up. "Ever, that was something that-"

"You were rude to me."

"I was joking! Gah! I wouldn't mind seeing you naked. Is that what you want to hear?"

She only headed for the door. "Next time you comment on my relationship, Lisanna, remember that yours is a sham. Or was. Who knows?"

Bickslow glared after her as she left through the front door. Then he glanced down at Lisanna.

"Lissy, I-"

"He…paid you?" She was tilting her head back then to stare up at her boyfriend, his sallet still shielding her eyes, as he only gave her a sheepish grin back. "To take me out?"

"Lisanna-"

"No, Bickslow." She shoved his helmet off then as she stood, slamming her drink down on the coffee table as well. "How long did this-"

"Not that long.. Seriously. And he only gave me enough to take you out. See? 'cause you were really hampering him and Mira's-"

"I can't believe you! Why-"

"Lisanna, I swear, the second I realized hat I…that we… What difference does it make, huh?"

"It makes all the difference, Bickslow!"

"Papa!" the babies yelled as they flocked to her side, their grins seeming malicious then as they faced him. "All the difference!"

"Lisanna, come on," he groaned, ignoring the dolls. "That was what? A year ago now? I…I love you, kid. You know that. You're my best bud! We do everything together. I… Yeah, Laxus paid me. For, like, three months, but-"

"Three months? Those three months where I was totally falling for you? But you were just using me for jewels?"

"No! Well…the first time. But after that we were having a great time. But I'm a single father of five here. A second income is-"

"Stop pretending like you actually do anything for the babies other than give them a home! You don't…_feed_ them or anything! They just live. So no, that's not a valid excuse. You're dick, Bickslow."

"Lisanna-"

"You are." She turned her back to him then, crossing her arms over her chest. "And you…you really hurt my feelings. I…" She had to stop to sniffle. "This is really something. Why should I believe you? That he's stopped paying you?"

"Because I've told you. I love you. I love you _so_ much. And…and… What do you want me to say? I mean, Ever's just a…she's kind of a bitch. So-"

"I have to go." Lisanna turned once more, heading over to where her shoes were. Slipping them on, she said, "Bye, babies."

"No, Lissy." They fluttered over to her. "No."

"Lisanna," Bickslow groaned, standing there in his living room in nothing, but his jeans. "I…I'm sorry. It was a long time ago now. What difference does it make how we got together? Just that we're together is what should matter. Right? Right? Lisanna-"

But she was out of the apartment then, slamming the door behind her.

Great. Just great.

"Papa?" The babies came over to him then. "Sad?"

He only glared at the ground. "I'mma kill Ever. The shit we do to each other? That's jokes. But what she just did was… I love Lisanna."

"We love Lisanna," they cried out. Because they did. She was their next favorite person. Right after Bickslow and a little before Freed (they mostly just liked to annoy him).

"I know, babies." Bickslow lifted his head again to look at them. "Papa will fix this." Then, wtih a sigh, his head fell again. "I just don't know how yet."

* * *

Ever got to her apartment not soon after leaving Bickslow's. Part of her wanted to go to Mirajane and Laxus' home, but she knew her idol better than anyone. There was one thing you did not mess with and that was his alone time with his demon.

So she went home to mope and wish that she hadn't been so mean to Elfman.

Oh, and about half way there, it kinda hit her that she had been a little overly harsh on Bickslow and Lisanna, that she had only been taking her pent up anger at the poor girl's brother out on her and that it hadn't been fair.

But what are you going to do, right?

So she popped that right out of her mind and went back to focusing on herself. If there was anything Ever knew how to do, it was that.

Only when she came into her dark apartment, she found that it wasn't so dark. In fact, the lamp was on in the living room, shedding light on a very upset Thunder God.

"L-Laxus. What are you-"

"You," he growled as he stood. "You and your damn boyfriend are always ruining my life! You-"

"What are you going on about? I don't-"

"I had the perfect plan to get Mira into bed tonight," he growled as Ever only closed the door and came closer. "Perfect. All planned out. But there I am, in the middle of wining and dining her when your idiot boyfriend showed up on our doorstep, crying something loud about you fucking around on him. You know anything about this?"

"W-Well," Ever said slowly, reaching up to rub at the back of her neck. "He's not really my boyfriend. And I haven't been having sex with other guys. So really, this is all just-"

"Are you gonna suck my cock, Ever? Huh? Let me fuck you?"

She was too shocked to say anything. She only stared at him with wide eyes. Slowly, she said, "A-Are you offering yourself to me? Or-"

"Of course not," he growled. She only blinked. Nothing this, he took to pacing around, too angry for words for a moment. Then, "I don't want you to. I want Mira! But I cant have Mira! Why? Because of you. Always you. And Elfman. And Lisanna. And Bickslow. And…and… Not Freed, because he's freaking smart enough to-"

"You might stay away from Lisanna and Bickslow," Ever said slowly. "I might have-"

"You might have what?" Laxus came to a stop then, once more, to glare at her. "Evergreen? Huh?"

"...It's not important. What is important is that I need to track Elfman down. Before he makes a horrible mistake and takes me up on my fake off. You know, like if I had agreed to blow you? So do you know where he is?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I want my girlfriend in bed with me. I don't give a damn what happens between you and-"

"You think he's still at your place? Or-"

"Ever-"

"If we go over there, both of us, you can have Mira and I can talk to Elfman," Evergreen explained. "And…maybe we see Lisanna on the way? And you fix that up?"

"What happened with Lisanna?"

Ever only sighed, turning right back to head out of the apartment. "I'll tell you on the way. And I know I gave you a key to my place as a standard thing, like Freed and Bickslow, but you really shouldn't barge-"

"Are you questioning me, Ever? Huh? Huh?"

Not if he was in that sort of mood. Laughing nervously, she glanced over at him. "Of course not. I… Let's just go, huh?"

So they set out, a stony silence between them. Randomly, Laxus would take to grumbling under his breath, about how Elfman should be bowing down to him and praising him, just because Laxus hadn't killed him yet.

Though she venerated the man, Ever would admit that sometimes Laxus took things a bit far. Many of his reveries involved most of Earth Land submitting to him because he was, as he put it, the greatest fucking mage ever. Which she agreed with. He was.

But he could also be a bit much.

When they arrived at the house, they found it to be dark, Mira having headed off to bed. Laxus immediately headed to the room he shared with her, grumbling over his shoulder to Ever that he could still smell Elfman's scent and it was strong.

He was in the guest bedroom.

"Elf?" she whispered as she walked into the room. "Are you-"

"What do you want?"

He was laying on the bed, back to the door. She only came closer.

"I know you're mad at me and I know that some might say that I deserve it-"

"Some?"

"-but Laxus is very mad and is back and he's in the room with your sister. So they're either about to fight or makeup and I know I don't want to be here for either of those. Do you?"

Elfman slowly sat up and glanced at her. They heard then, from the room just on the other side of their wall, Mirajane giggle along with the sound of Laxus' steady tone, sounding slightly overly aggressive.

Yeah. They were definitely making up.

Both Ever and Elfman hightailed it out of there then because, seriously, gross. Ever was starting to see why Lisanna had been so embarrassed by her and Bickslow talking before.

"So…are you coming home with me or-"

"Leave me alone, Ever," Elfman grumbled as they left the house. "You sure are a lousy person. You know that?"

She wondered what he would say when he found out that she'd just bombed Bickslow, one of her only friends, and Lisanna's relationship.

Again, she was able to just push that out of her mind.

"Elfman, you said some shit to me too. You-"

"I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have… I know that the stuff about your father… Why can't you just admit that we're dating? What's wrong with me?"

"Elf-"

"I know, I get it. I'm…goofy. And I cry a lot. But I sure am a man, aren't I?"

"It's not that. I told you, it has nothing to do with you. It's me. I-"

"I don't want to keep doing this, Ever. I love you. And I know that you love me. But if you're not going to say it or act like it or even treat me decently, then maybe we're better off as friends. Or just…just guild mates."

She stopped walking then, as if in shock, as he only continued on. When he noticed that she wasn't following, he glanced back at her.

"What? You don't like that idea much?"

"It's a tad…harsh."

"Well, according to you, we don't even date, so-"

"Elfman-"

"Say it, Ever, or else-"

"I love you, okay? And yes, you're my… I don't know what you are. But I know that I'm loyal to you. that I'm faithful. Why do I have to call it something?"

But he had stopped too then, turning to glance at her. She thought that he was going to say something…before he started tearing up.

"E-Elfman-"

"I love you too!" He rushed over to her, there in the empty street, going to wrap her into a bone crushing hug. "And I never should have doubted you. I'm so sorry!"

Ever couldn't breath to tell him that, well, she couldn't breath. But that was fine. Because they were fine. And even though she was still kinda of annoyed with him at least for the moment, everything was fixed.

…Except with Bickslow and Lisanna. But gah! Did they all expect her to do everything?

* * *

"I ever tell you that you pour liquor like a god?"

"Laxus."

"You do," he said as he sat up at the bar, mostly focusing on Mirajane. Okay, only focusing on Mirajane. She was totally all for it though, apparently not picking up the glares that Kinana was sending them.

So much for those major tips Laxus was supposed to be throwing her way. He hadn't even so much as looked at another person in the guildhall all morning. And since he'd shown up, Mira had hardly done any real work. Just stood in front of him, accepting compliment after compliment.

They were clearly in good moods.

But Lisanna wasn't.

She was seated at the bar as well, a seat between her and Laxus, glaring randomly over at where her brother and his girlfriend were seated with Freed, Ever talking about something with her leader.

"What's wrong with you?" Laxus finally asked Lisanna after he tried to give Mira another compliment, only to notice that she was all zoned in on her sister. Ugh. He had to get rid of the brat and fast. "Don't tell me you and Bickslow got into a fight too? You guys are really just trying to ruin my life, aren't you?"

"Behave," Mirajane told her boyfriend as Lisanna only gave him a look.

"I don't want to talk to you."

"What did I do?" he asked.

"You know."

"No."

"Yes, you do."

"I don't," Mira told them both then. "I-"

"Here!"

Both Laxus and Lisanna jumped as they had been so distracted with glaring at one another they hadn't noticed their underlying problem enter the hall, his dolls in tow.

"What?" Laxus frowned at the stack of jewels the seith tossed down on the bar in front of him. It looked rather thick, a rubber band holding the bills together. Mirajane stared at them curiously as well. "What is this? How much is this?"

Bickslow didn't say though as he glared at his boss. "This is all the money you ever paid me to take out Mira's sister."

"You what?" Mirajane frowned, glancing at her sister before at Laxus. "When-"

"The hell are you doing, stupid?" Laxus grumbled. "I mean-"

"I would have added in interest," Bickslow went on. "I tried to. But…it's a lot harder than it sounds to figure that stuff out! Especially without any help. So…this is just the basic amount. But if I need to give you more, I will. Because I love Lisanna. I have loved her. For a long time now. And I-"

"Oh, shut up."

That was from Lisanna, much to the disappointment of Bickslow's dolls. They let out a whine at her words. But then, they never were too good at reading tones.

Bickslow could read them well though. And when Lisanna stood, he quickly moved to go hug her.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I really am. I shouldn't have-"

"I overreacted," she mumbled against his chest as Laxus only frowned at them before glancing back at Mirajane. She was giving him a cold stare though, clearly still curious about that whole paying off thing. "I was stupid. It-"

"No," he groaned. "I was stupid. I should have said something a long time ago."

"Papa was stupid," the babies concluded for them both. Lisanna only giggled as Bickslow let her go.

"What's stupid is giving Laxus that money back. We should keep it," Lisanna said. "He owes it to us."

"Y-"

"No," Laxus said, glancing at them. "You ain't getting shit back. You-"

"None of you are." Kinana came over then and snatched the bills off the bar making even Mirajane glance at her. She only shrugged.

"You owe me, Laxus."

"Not that much! Hey!"

"You can take the next three days off, Mirajane," she offered up. Mira still only stared.

"I don't know when you suddenly became in charge of that, but-"

"It's a long story," Laxus sighed, looking back down at the bar then. "Demon."

"Lucky you, we have three days to talk about it."

He looked up at that, as if happy. Then he saw Mira's face and his fell.

"And we can also talk about you paying a man to date my sister," she went on. "And the fact that you apparently bribe poor Kinana."

"She sure ain't poor anymore."

"Behave."

He only slumped over. What a life.

"Thank goodness," Evergreen cut off Freed form over where she was sitting, watching as Bickslow and Lisanna left the guildhall, hand in hand, his dolls following along. Freed, who had been going over a training regimen that he thought they should all partake in, frowned.

"No, Ever," he said. "It's not good. I feel that we've been slacking and-"

"Not that," she said, waving him off before looking at Elfman, who she'd allowed to sit with them that day. "See? Your sister's all fixed."

"Why wouldn't she be?"

"No reason," Ever said, grinning. Elfman only shrugged before happily going back to reading the newspaper he'd brought over with him, blissfully unaware of the glare that Freed sending him.

The Strauss siblings were ruining his life. First they took down his idol, then his right hand man, and now his right hand woman?

"At least they're all happy," he'd have to remind himself frequently.

Except for when they all weren't. Which was frequent.

At the moment though, all seemed smoothed over (other than Laxus looking rather defeated in that moment), so Freed chose to pick his battles.

He'd just train them all twice as hard as punishment!

"It's not even noon yet and things are already great," Elfman said, glancing over at Ever.

"You still have another hour," she said, as if offhandedly as she looked at him too. "Anything you want to do until noon?"

He only grinned. "Just sit here with you."

She rolled her eyes and took to fanning her self then with her hand fan, if only to hide her smile.

Under her breath, she mumbled, "Yeah, you better."

* * *

**Told you guys I could squeeze an Elf and Ever story out eventually. I found this in some of my half finished stuff and went for it. Thought about splitting it into chapters, but figured a long one-shot would do just as nice. **


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